No matter how healthy your ego might be, or how effortlessly you project an aura of confidence, once kids enter your world there will come a time when you start proclaiming to the world, “I’m not a regular dad—I’m a cool dad.”
There are myriad ways of attempting to express this sense of cool. You can dress in leather and have your live-in brother-in-law back you up in performing some Boomer rock classics. You can shout “six-seven” at random intervals to show the kids that you are, indeed, with it. Or you could take a more sensible approach and pick up a Chevrolet Traverse with the Z71 package.
Yes, I purposely put the words Chevy, Traverse, and cool in the same paragraph, and not in a way where one negates the other. This is a ride for the dad who wants to own a sick-ass boat, and wants a Tahoe to tow said boat, but knows deep down that now is the time to be sensible.
Even with the Z71 off-roady bits making this Traverse taller than its road-focused siblings, this mid-sized Chevy is still easy to live with. Unlike other big-ass trucks I’m sometimes stuck with, I can actually enter parking garages with this Traverse and comfortably fit within the confines of standard-sized parking spaces. So trips to the mall for yet another haul of KPop Demon Hunters merch becomes just another weekend chore instead of a soul-torturing exercise in frustration.
Off-road bits or no, the Traverse is still a crossover with unit-body construction, so it offers a smooth, car-like ride. But the Z71 pack gives just enough of a truck-like feel to almost fool you into thinking you’re driving a full-sized Tahoe. Maybe it’s the all-terrain tires, or maybe it’s the added squish that comes with the off-road suspension, but there’s a slight delay with every driving input. It’s neither disconcerting nor sloppy, and if anything feels intentional. It’s kind of like the fake gears in the Hyundai IONIQ5 N: a technically “worse” way to deliver power, but a subjectively better way for the vehicle to communicate with its driver.
That said, this Chevy can’t quite deliver on the larger truck’s feeling of power. Under the Traverse’s hood lies a 2.5-liter turbocharged inline-four rated at 328 horsepower and 326 lb-ft of torque. That’s not too far off the 355 ponies and 383 torques you’d find in the 5.3-liter V8 in a base Tahoe. But with four fewer cylinders, the Traverse just lacks that grunt, that rumble. Each time I start this thing I expect to feel that subtle side-to-side shake of an awakening V8 but am instead greeted with the underwhelming whirr of a transverse-mounted economy engine.
So this four-banger lacks emotional punch but feels fine in practice. It’s mated to an 8-speed automatic transmission with a sensible shift logic, helping the Traverse feel lively off the line and comfortable when cruising at highway speeds. This Traverse Z71 is equipped with AWD, which frankly isn’t needed in my coastal LA-area suburb, but does offer off-road terrain modes for those who aren’t afraid to leave the pavement. Also standard on the Z71 is a tow package with Hitch View, so maybe you can get that boat. But even with this tow package, max towing capacity is limited to 5,000 pounds, so maybe just get a small boat.
Right, so I should probably talk about the inside. It’s a modern-day Chevy, so the dash is dominated by two very large, high-resolution digital displays. At this point in time, they look fantastic. They’re bright, crisp, easy to read and don’t feel too cluttered. And with this being a gas-powered ride, it thankfully still has Apple CarPlay and Android Auto compatibility. But to repeat myself, and most other auto writers on the planet, almost all controls are found on the center screen, with little in the way of physical, tactile buttons. At least the commonly used features, like temperature controls, are large, static and easy to access.
With this being the Z71 package, there are cool red details on the seats and front interior door panels, though in what looks like a cost-cutting measure, most of these flourishes don’t find their way to the rear. That said, I think any back-seat passengers would prefer the second-row captain’s chairs and individual climate controls over a door panel finished in a primary color.
Speaking of rear seats, let’s talk about those for a sec. On their own, they’re fine, but your kids better choose whether they want to live out their captaining fantasies in row two or hide away in row three—because using both rear rows will require someone to sacrifice some legroom. Probably best to just keep that third row folded down, enjoy the extra cargo room and gently suggest that any second-row occupants actually converse with their parents up front.
But kids don’t want to talk to the normal dad, they want to talk to the cool dad. And that’s a problem because I never was cool. Maybe I could earn some of that cool cred by forcing my own to listen to my old band. Maybe I can become that dad with the boat. Maybe buying something like this Chevrolet Traverse Z71 will make me cool. Or maybe I simply learn to find the joy in each eye roll triggered with each six-seven I say out loud, because cringy dad jokes will forever be cool.
